Must Be Modest

Modesty tends to be frowned upon in today’s time. As insane as it may sound, it’s true. Men are labeled “insecure” for not letting their spouse dress however they want. Which, in my opinion, just shows that he respects and protects her the way Joseph did when he found out about Mary’s pregnancy back in Matthew 1:19. Women are judged for being “scared” to show too much skin. And apparently, you lack self-confidence if you don’t wear a bikini to the beach! But in Paul’s letter to Timothy, he says “women should adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.” (1 Tim. 2:9-10)

All of this is saddening, to be honest. And what’s even more sad is that people tend to view modesty as the way you dress, when quite frankly, it’s much deeper than that. Even the definition of the word tells us so! To be modest is to dress or behave so as to avoid impropriety or indecency, especially to avoid attracting sexual attention. Therefore, I would like to discuss more than the way we are supposed to dress. Let’s consider our character and behavior altogether. I can guarantee you that the way we are to clothe ourselves will automatically fall into place and be favorable unto the Lord. 

No point in beating around the bush: there is absolutely nothing indecent about being a child of God! Let’s start there. Synonyms for indecent are dirty, filthy, vulgar, gross, etc. How would you feel if you were labeled as such? As a matter of fact, the bible encourages us to be the opposite! Telling us to wash our hands and purify our hearts in James 4:8, cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit in 2 Corinthians 7:1, and that the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin in 1 John 1:7. Notice the terms: wash, purify, cleanse. Scriptures such as these should motivate us to seek purity, not just in the physical sense, but in our hearts and minds. Furthermore, in Revelation 22:11, an angel speaks to the apostle John saying, “He who is unjust, let him be unjust still; he who is filthy, let him be filthy still; he who is righteous, let him be righteous still; he who is holy, let him be holy still.” (NKJV). This is in reference to the end of time. But what adds fear to my heart is the following verse when Jesus says, “And behold, I am coming quickly, and My reward is with Me, to give to every one according to his work.” ‭‭(‭NKJV‬‬) Neither of us have a clue as to when He will return. But my question to you is, how do you want to be living your life when He does? Will your behavior, character, and appearance be pure? Or will you be just as filthy as those of the world?

In the definition of modesty that I mentioned earlier, the word “impropriety” stands out to me as well. And yes, I’m about to give you the definition. I love learning new terms! Impropriety is failure to observe standards or show due honesty or modesty; improper language, behavior, or character. I don't know about you, but I feel like that’s pretty deep. But I want to go deeper and break down the definition of this word, so that we can make sure we understand the seriousness of being modest. 

First off, I want us to focus on the first section of the definition: “failure to observe standards”. Think about what standard we should be observing. Better yet, WHOSE standards we should be observing. Christ of course! And it absolutely cannot get any higher than that! Let’s ask ourselves, “What does Jesus want from me? What does He expect from me?” It’s imperative that we know the answer to these questions, and the answer can only be found in God’s Word. In John 14:15, Jesus says, "If you love me, keep my commandments.” (NKJV) That verse alone lets us know that behaving and dressing as the world is not what He wants, and transparently showing that we do not love nor live for Him if we do. Obedience to Jesus is not merely about following rules but about transforming our hearts and lives to reflect His love and grace to the world. It is through obedience that we grow in our relationship with God, becoming more like Jesus in our character and actions. His modesty was rooted in His identity and mission, not in seeking the approval of others, but in fulfilling the will of His Father.

Now, if we’re going to live by His standards, we should strive to live as He did. Which is why I want to shift our focal point to “improper language”. One thing that can certainly be said about Jesus is that He chose His words with great care and purpose! Jesus' words were not chosen carelessly or spoken without thought. They were crafted with divine wisdom, aimed at teaching, correcting, encouraging, and transforming those who heard them. He was fully aware of the power of words and used them to fulfill His mission on earth, to reveal the Father, and to draw people to Himself. I know He expects the same of us! As a self-reflection, I want you to think about your day-to-day conversations and how often Jesus is the topic. Are your discussions with others favorable to the Lord? Ephesians 4:29 encourages us to use our words for edification and encouragement. But with that in mind, I want us to take a look at James 3:9-10. It reads, “With it we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.” (NKJV) In these verses, James is speaking to the early Christians about taming their tongue, and rebuking the inconsistency of both blessing and cursing coming from the same mouth. This is hypocrisy at its finest! 

I know there will be times we say things we shouldn’t, especially when we’re angry. But  in Ephesians 4:26, Paul tells us to be angry without sinning. And in Colossians 3:8, he warns us to eliminate these harmful emotions and behavior that lead to foul language. While anger itself is not necessarily sinful, it must be handled in a way that honors God and maintains righteousness. This involves controlling our responses, resolving conflicts biblically, and ensuring that our anger does not lead us into sin. But I don’t want to get caught up in angry speech only. We need to be mindful of what we say at all times! If we are intentionally using foul language, our mouths are immodest. If we are intentionally speaking negatively of people, our hearts AND mouths are immodest. And allowing others to consistently do this in your presence without any attempt to correct or warn them of God’s wrath means you are just as immodest as that person as well. Ezekiel 33:8-9 suggests that there are spiritual consequences when we fail to correct the wrongdoing of others. And keep Galatians 6:1 in mind when doing so, so that we don’t fall into that same sin that we are trying to warn them about. 

But earlier in this same book, Paul gives a list of behaviors and character traits that are contrary to the Lord’s standards; which transitions us into “improper behavior or character”. Chapter 5 verses 19 through 21 reads, “Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (NKJV) The end of verse 21 is so chilling to me! Paul tells us clear as day that these works of the flesh will keep us out of Heaven! But notice that he said “those who PRACTICE” such things will not inherit God’s kingdom. I’m sure we’ve all heard the phrase “Practice makes perfect”. When you practice something, it is a habit. It’s done often, sometimes daily. If we continue in our sin, that means we are showing no remorse, and that’s obviously the life we wish to live. We have chosen Hell over Heaven. How sad would it be to have to burn for eternity, simply because we chose to be immodest, and satisfy the world or our flesh? Is it really worth it?

As children of God, we should love God and others, live in holiness, and overall, obey God’s word. All of these are associated with modesty. Firstly, when we love others the way God intends for us to, it’s much deeper than just a feeling as the world portrays it to be. The ultimate love is assuring that souls make it to Heaven. Of course, as the bible teaches, not everyone will make it. But our Lord still wants us to spread His word and at least try to get others there with us. (Mark 16:15) Now take a moment and think about this godly love. Would it be love for us to dress or act in a manner that is tempting to our brethren? To anyone for that matter. Is it fair that we put them in a predicament to commit sin, all because we want to do what pleases our flesh and not the Lord? Jesus said in Matthew 5:28 that a man who even LOOKS at a woman to lust after her, has already committed adultery in his heart. We’ve already mentioned that the Bible speaks of adultery being a work of the flesh that can keep us out of Heaven. We should not be putting our brothers or sisters in that position! As a matter of fact, Hebrews 3:13 commands us to do the complete opposite, telling us to “exhort one another everyday”. How terrible would it be if we were the cause of that sin, that led our brother or sister to Hell. It’s tragic to even think about. This can circle back to living in holiness. Be set apart. Don’t dress as the world. Don’t act as the world. Our lives should be so God-centered to where we can walk in a room, and without saying a word, it is known that we are a child of God. What’s holy about showing cleavage, sagging pants, dancing vulgarly, disgusting language, or anything else of the sort? Isn’t our Lord holy? Doesn’t He command that we are holy just as He is? I ask a million questions so that we can self-reflect, and think about what God truly wants from us. 

Another question: How do you behave when none of your brothers or sisters in Christ are around? Not even just them, but someone you have the utmost respect for. Does your character suddenly change when they aren’t present? I hope not. Because Jesus is still there, and that’s who actually matters. Would you dress/behave the way you do if He were here in the flesh? That is how we should live on a daily basis, as if our Lord and Savior is physically here with us, correcting and rebuking us when we are wrong or even thinking of doing wrong. We have to keep in mind that the ultimate goal is Heaven. And if we are living immodest lives, we will not reach that goal. We should not lose our only opportunity at everlasting life with the Lord. The temporary pleasures on Earth will soon fade and mean nothing. The like and reactions on social media will be vain. The pleasure received from getting the attention of others will be vain. That situation that got you so mad that you began to belittle and talk down on God’s children will be vain. The money you chased to buy materialistic things, as well as the things you bought, will all be vain. Please, let us remember the endmost objective: Heaven. Living an indecent, improper, immodest life will not get us there; living every moment for the Lord will! 

Overall, it’s true that modesty is about dressing appropriately, but it also requires behaving and living in such a way that is favorable to God. It starts within our hearts. But our hearts must be pure and filled with Christ. Once we love Him enough to live for Him and only Him, then the way we dress will easily follow suit. Don’t ever be ashamed of being modest. Don’t ever be embarrassed to dress or behave differently than the rest of the world. Continue to be holy and set apart as God wants us to be. And remember, it will be worth it in the end. Thank you for talking with me. Let’s walk with Him.